Top ten horror movies

I’m really hungover and don’t want to get out of bed. Why not stay in bed and write another useless blog no one will read.

10. Alien
Menacing creatures ripping through people’s stomachs on what is essentially a tin can flung out into space. If that doesn’t scare the Sigourney Weavers out of you, I don’t know what will.

9. Susperia
My babysitter and I watched this when I was about 9 or 10 (in retrospect she probably wasn’t the best babysitter for a young kid). Needless to say this movie has stuck with me. Dario Argento made a film that scared me back then and it still gives me the creeps now.

8. A Serbian Film.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again, A Serbian Film is the most fucked up thing you will see on celluloid. This movie is offensive, shocking, uncomfortable, disgusting and you will end up feeling heartbroken. I feel like this movie will change the way you are as a person. This is by far not child’s play.

7. Funny Games
From the opening operatic lead into German speed metal drive through the countryside to the end, funny games is a beautifully shot movie. It’s gut wrenching and creepy in a way that sticks with you for a while. The two men who torture this family are brilliantly acted and the mother should have won some sort of award for the 5 to 10 minute no cutaway camera shot she has.

6. Children of the Corn
Full disclosure: I don’t think this movie was ever scary to me. It’s just full camp now. It’s brilliant and funny, sick and dumb. I like because it is really bad, and this is the only film on the list I can say that about. One of these days I am going to tromp up and down the street screaming for the outlander.

5. Psycho
I can say nothing about this film that hasn’t been said before. Hitchcock is a god

4. Let the Right One In
I could bitch about America not being able to pay attention to subtitles. I could bitch that they had to remake it (in English) for our unintelligent huddled masses. I won’t bitch about those things, instead I will tell you that if you haven’t seen this movie yet just GO FUCKING SEE IT! It’s beautiful and the best vampire movie I’ve seen in a while.

3. The Devil’s Rejects
Rob Zombie is an amazing director. I’ll be damned If you aren’t almost rooting for the horrible people in this movie to survive. In the end with Freebird playing and them getting their guns together for one last hoorah, well if it isn’t one of the sweetest scenes of murderous rampage I’ve ever seen. Also Sheri Moon Zombie is fucking hot.

2. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
A scene that will stick with you for a while, the first time you ever see Leatherface. When he walks from behind the wall cracks some guy over the head. Standing menacingly over a twitching body while he slams the door shut. Gives you horror boners doesn’t it?

1. Night of the Living Dead.
I’m a sucker for zombie flicks, but above all this will stand as my undisputed favorite horror movie of all time.

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